Page 17 - Delaware Lawyer - Fall 2020

creating time where I shut it all off, I am extremely grateful.
I am also grateful for what regular pondering can accomplish. It is not wasted time. It draws me back to my purposes, why I get up in the morn- ing, why I am on this planet. Instead of dwelling on where I have come up short in who I want to be, this allows me to focus on the future, what I want to ac- complish, who I want to get to know better, who I want to help, what causes I want to contribute to. That lessens my anxiety, gives me greater resolve, and creates greater peace of mind.
This pandemic has also brought to my attention how much I need to be around people. Faces on a screen are a good second best, but not even close to enough. We need each other. This is where the gratefulness gets huge. I have a wife with whom I love spending
time, and so I have never been lonely during this stretch. I have two sons and two grandchildren whom I have been able to see quite a bit despite it all. Many do not have this abundance of riches, and my heart goes out to those living alone or with much more limited human contact.
Finally, I am grateful for refocusing me on how tenuous it all is. Our gov- ernment, our financial institutions, the capital markets, our health, our loved ones’ health all seem so much more tenuous now. If we stop and ponder, it is always crystal clear that tomorrow is not guaranteed, but this pandemic has brought that concept front and center. I can’t avoid it.
I was fortunate to have lunch at Lucky’s Diner recently with an old friend. During this whole pandemic, he had it a little worse than most of us.
He wasn’t feeling well, and instead of COVID-19, it turned out he had brain cancer! He had major surgery and is now undergoing radiation. When I met him for lunch, there was not a hint of fear or frustration on this guy. He was smiling. He was at peace. Yes, he might not make it, although the current prognosis is hopeful. But he was focusing on what he had, not what he didn’t have, or what he might lose. He had made peace with dying if that was what the near future holds.
I have a picture of a former (de- ceased) client named Rex on my wall in my office. He had a horrific disease called Multiple System Atrophy (MSA), which kills people in a similar way to ALS, slowly. He was being interviewed at one point when the symptoms were clearly showing, but he was still able to do a lot. I took a quote of his dur- ing this interview and put it with Rex’s picture for daily inspiration. He said, “I’m still walking. I’m still talking. Now is the good time. You’ve only got so much time; you want to make sure it counts.” When I moved offices recent- ly, that picture ended up in a box. As I was writing this essay, I remembered that picture. I pulled it out and rehung it. I am grateful that this pandemic put Rex’s inspiration back in my daily view.
As far as I know, I don’t have brain cancer, or COVID, or MSA, but I am mortal. I want to be more like Rex and my old friend. I want to enjoy each day even if COVID lingers or public dis- course remains contemptible or racial issues don’t get solved or the wrong guy gets elected in November or the economy doesn’t improve, or I don’t make as much money as I want.
I am resolved to focus on what I have and try to bring to others’ lives something for which they can be grate- ful. I am resolved to live a more pur- poseful, less anxious life.
Ask me in a year how I am doing. FALL 2020 DELAWARE LAWYER 15